My Soul Therapies

10 Dating Lessons Learned by Marnie from HBO’s Girls

Allison Williams, actress Marnie from girls — Allison Williams, actress Marnie from Girls

These are the do’s and don’ts of relationships that we all can learn from Marnie. She is a strong character and you can tell she suppresses a lot. Only if she would stop focusing on everyone else’s problems and fixated on her own.

Never put all your eggs into one basket…

In the first season we see how much she has invested in to her boyfriend. Just to find out that with one small mistake he would throw it away and find someone new just a few short weeks later.

Don’t be the one to do everything in the relationship.

I read a great article that suggested when being in a relationship, its 100/100 not 50/50… most days its 60/40 or even 80/20… but it is where you invest your efforts and when that matter. Space out your good deeds so they are less expected.

Don’t try to fix an issue that is going on by replacing it with a happier issues.

AKA, switching topics. How often does she get mad and start to voice her opinion to just get interrupted with some ones else’s better news. Oh you know like being in a huge fight over money issues and then accept a marriage proposal. Just 2 sentences into her argument about NOT wanting a failing relationship like her parents. Way to go!

Have enough pride in yourself to know who you deserve.

I could not tell you why in the world Marnie would choose to be “the other women” in a relationship. She has soooo much to offer, yet she threw it at a man who was already taken. This makes my heart sad for every girl who gets themselves into this kind of ordeal. If you want to be the only one then make sure there is no other one.

Know what you want before you go out looking.

I use this in my day-to-day, as simple as shopping and as complex as future plan/goal making. You get this sense from Marnie that she is still just floating along with everything, not ever really knowing what she wants. She didn’t want to be smothered by a serious boyfriend then gets with someone who is distant but requires him to show her more attention. Get it together, you are either on the bus or off!

It is ok to have a friends with benefits, as long that is as far as it goes.

One of the most fun times I had in my life was being single but having a friends with benefits to keep me satisfied. It helped to keep my eye on what else is important in life, besides being in relationships all the time. Just do not let the feelings catch up with you in the situation.

Do not sleep with some one out of vengeance.

You see red and you want nothing more than to hurt that ex, but it safer to play it cool and not hurt your own self in the midst of it all. You never know what your random hook up can be into. Like Marnie’s crazy fling with Booth, the artist. It ends with her in a very compromising situation. Just watch season 2.

Sympathy sex should be left to, well no one.

Why would she sleep with her gay friend? To see if she could turn him back? I doubt it. Or the best man from Jessa’s wedding, he is in no way her type. Instead you can really confuse someone or damage feelings. Don’t sleep with someone out of pity. It just is not classy.

If it didn’t work the first time, it more than likely will not work the next round.

Marnie decided to hop on the Charlie train again but was left in the begging of season 3 with no boyfriend, AGAIN. See, there is this thing I belive in where if two people are good at being around each other but can not make it as a couple; well, leave it at friends. Do not try to date again just because you see that special something in them again. They haven’t changed and neither have you. Let it be and find the next greatest thing.

Try not to let love blind you.

It is a true saying that love is blinding but infatuation can be even more so. I feel like now, at the end of season 4, Marnie is going to have a tough decision to make in the nearing future. Between her “friends with benefits” Ray and Desi her newly engaged infatuation. You can see it in Ray’s eyes when he gives his speech how he longs for her again, and it is almost prevalent that Marnie in return desires that respect and caring that he offers. But here she is with bright lights and hottie fiance showing off to the world that she is going to be a big time singer/ musician duo with her man. It is all just blurring the future even more for her.

With any advice given on relationships, always listen to your heart and head first. No one can tell you how to feel or what to do. Only you have that power. Just try to learn from someone elses mistakes so you don’t have to crash and burn just as hard. Take it from Marnie, a life in and out of relationships gets you caught up in some intense things. So hold on and try to enjoy the ride!

10 Simple and Sensible New Year Resolutions

newresolution

Too many set goals for the new year as some sort of fresh start, the new beginning, angst of the dawn of a new day. But to only attempt it, with good intentions try and stay sworn, get a fifth of the way there and realize you should have just stuck to something easy or less demanding. Sound familiar? Simple solution, don’t give up the new year giving up your worst habit. Chances are you took a while to obtain it, it might take a while to kick it. So try something else instead, like my tactic. If it is already an action I’m required to do, let’s see how good I am at doing it.

New year goal 1: Brush your teeth every day before bed and when you wake up. Just do it. The dentist tells you to. Your mom tells you to. So why not help yourself and set your goal to do something you are for sure benefiting from. That would absolutely be a year of no cavities or tartar.

New year goal 2: Read a new book every month. Now not all of us read but this could be anything that you are obsessed with. Maybe it’s buying a CD once a month if you’re into music, get to know a new artist and support their talent. Or it can be, get a magazine once a month and clip out what inspires you, get a vision board going the whole year long. Whatever your vice, just do it more, get good at it and enjoy it more often.

New year goal 3: Take a walk for 30 minutes every day. Perhaps you don’t have 30 minutes, but I bet you have 10 at least 3 times a day. So split it up. Take a brisk walk around the building at work when others do cigarette breaks. Or do it once in the morning before work, at lunch, then after dinner. However, you get moving just get moving more. This has more benefits than any one doctor could explain. You cut your risk of disease more than in half. Start young and you’re setting a path of mindful living.

New year goal 4: Make your bed every day. I was told by a teacher once that successful people leave their home with their bed made every morning and their sink empty of dishes. Not sure how accurate, but it taught me a few things. When you are tired and stressed and the day is finally up. It’s nice to come home and hit the hay knowing there isn’t a book lying in your path ready to remind you of homework, or some pile of laundry edging you to get it folded. You can breathe for that moment and the day has a silver lining.

New year goal 5: Have a night where there is no technology. Call it your “off day” or me and my man have “no tech Tuesday”. This allows you to appreciate the little things. Give time to those around you not just those on hand in your gadget. The ones near happen to be the most important, so take one day a week to show that you can put what matters most in your life, first. There are 6 more days a week you can tweet the president or facetime your BFF.

New year goal 6: Eat one or two meals cooked at home. The amount of which you do this could vary like for me; I go out only once a week so all my meals must be cooked at home. But I know in my younger twenties it wasn’t so. You train yourself now and it gets easier as you get older to feed yourself, and soon more mouths.

New year goal 7: Every day say out loud 1 new thing you are grateful for. This one comes from Ryan, blogger of officialryguy.com. He has an alarm set at a certain time each day, that when it goes off it reminds him to sit and think of just one thing that day he was thankful for. To ensure he never took for granted even the most simple of things. He said it got pretty hard at times trying to come up with something better or meaningful. But that even if it was having the clothes on his back or the toilet paper he bought, he was thankful that it was there for his pleasure.

New year goal 8: Start recycling!! This is my most important life rule: reduce your carbon footprint to ensure our children’s lives. I can’t begin to explain the power of donating your trash to become something twice or even 3 times used. Once something gets sent to a landfill there it sits for its long, nondecaying life, taking up space and producing a massive collection of waste overall. The more you recycle, reuse and reduce, the better you are making this planet we call home. Donate items, collect cans for cash, or stop throwing out your plastic bags and use them for one of these ideas. Whichever you choose you will make an impact on this earth and secure our place here for that much longer

volunteers_needed

New year goal 9: Help others by volunteering or support a charity. There is a list of ways this can be done. Here are some great ways to get started.

To help animals in your area or donate to no-kill shelters all around. https://www.aspca.org/ways-to-give
You can give a monetary donation or find a local food bank near you and help the hungry. http://www.firstfoodbank.org/
There are many sites like this but specifically, you can donate to a child here in the US or around the world, without leaving your home. Easy enough? So, go try it! http://www.savethechildren.org
This is a great site for knowing what is going on in the world and who needs help after natural disasters. Check back with them frequently to see what you can do to give a lending hand. http://www.directrelief.org/participate/
If none of these hit your heart strings you can always look at rankings and which charities give the most without profit through this amazing site. I couldn’t believe how many ways you can reach out to people in need. http://www.charitynavigator.org/

New year goal 10: Take some time each day for yourself. I do a quick meditation, which is hard for most but it takes practice. You will get it if you keep trying. I started by using binaural beats to drown out my thoughts, then it got easier to shut out the world for 10-minutes at a time. Take a bath one day or lay while listening to your favorite song on repeat. However, you choose to make some “me time” make sure its self-love you are practicing. Make it wholesome.

Ever hear the phrase ” It takes 21 days to form a habit.”? Well, it actually has been thought that you could possibly form a habit in that amount of time, but only if the task is as simple as drinking more glasses of water a day. Otherwise, harder things like eating a piece of fruit every day or taking a 10-minute walk after breakfast could take 68 or even 258 days, but these are all under 365 days of the year. So if you can get this year in your grasp and take each day one goal setting day at a time. You can make your life that much better with these habits, rather than poor life choices you constantly forget to change. Setting a goal is about making a better you. If you forget, don’t put yourself down, pat yourself on the back and just pick up where you left off. Keep going it’s only 2016!!!

Johnny Depp: My Simple Secret Obsession

At no age does one get old; unless you want to feel old, then go ahead and admit that you are. In my struggle to keep my burgeoning youthful spirit, I enjoy still fantasizing about celebrity Johnny Depp. Even now, him going into his 50’s, I still get the craving to feast upon him like a nicely aged bottle of wine. It started back when I was in 8th grade; the ripe age of 14, I had discovered that girls could have crushes on guys that were not exactly around to see them google all over them. I would walk into my friend’s room and there would be posters of people like Eminem or Brad Pitt. That’s when I became fascinated on the idea to fixate my obsession with something beautiful, with the man we call Johnny Depp. I had watched, over and over, the movie Cry-baby and even knew that he had a small part in Nightmare on Elm Street. He played the cute boyfriend in both movies, so it seemed that is where my wild dreams of me and a man together would manifest. You ask women why they like older men. It probably comes from past infatuation with overly successful untouchables. As much as I do like the outer shell of my arcane paramour, there are some peculiar attributes that would be opposing. Smoking a thousand cigarettes a day can really put the definition in one’s dotage. Seriously though, what is with the revolt on quitting? But, he really has many phenomenal traits that make him a diamond in the rough.

With being a diamond, means being multi-faceted. There are several examples of how Sir Depp is beyond dexterous, starting with this video of him and celebrity sensation Paul McCartney and others, playing some good ol’ jazz and blues. Just a glimpse into what amazing lengths this man has gone through to end up right where he is.

Music will be a more favorite hobby of Johnny’s. He wields such talent for instruments and lyricism… The vibrating sounds and melodic poems he envisions shake his cumbersome soul and fuel creative juices.

All Johnny’s career looked like, at the beginning, was being in a garage band, The Kids, and opening up for Talking Heads, but that wasn’t enough to make it in real life for him. He hit it hard to study acting; well, because he couldn’t even sell pens to a stranger let alone convince an audience of his stage presence. Who knew, with a little determination, what a remarkable occurrence would come about. He hit it big with the television show 21 Jump Street, leading him to his next big break working with director Tim Burton, of whom I am quite enamored with as well. I love Depp’s early work because it shows his raw self. Not saying he does it differently now, but he left himself in it the whole time. You could tell he was the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks, but that is what kept you wanting more. Something you can’t have, but left a good taste in your mouth. Like a nice cuban cigar, freshly imported and highly sought after, yet illegal. I am sure that is the exact thing those agents were thinking, when he rolled in with his cuffed shirt and tore up jeans, ready to play the role of a draper in Cry-Baby. My heart flutters at the thought of seeing that lip snarl when he sings. I will sit through anything, at the chance to see his developed character that he has portrayed this time. The only musicals I even like are because they cast Johnny in them. Ha! Chilling and ominous his voice is, yet mellifluous at the same time.

Embracing the strange and beautiful is something Johnny Depp will never take advantage of. He indulges in unique avocations and gets to portray quite a few in some of his roles. In my opinion, anyone who fancies work done by Hunter S.

Thompson, as Depp and I both do, probably has a bizarre take on life. I can see it in the way he envelops all his roles, you can tell he has an actual interest in that story. The company Depp keeps is quite the similar. Always going for the outsider or perverse. Even Johnny Boy’s new girl has been deemed odd, having been quoted to be ambiguous in relations, going steady with people of both gender. His love for counterculture sets back as early as 13, when he was shown a whole new world of music and literature that his older brother Danny gave interests in pre hand. Depp’s interests, including Van Morrison and his beloved “Koran”, and a roughed-up paperback book called On the Road, paved the way for his growing obsession with oddities.

My obsession in High School was pirates and nautical art. You think kids these days have pirate obsessions, well I would give them a run for their money. I would eat sleep and breathe rum, slang-terms, and debauchery in my later youth. Depp himself would be proud, only I never thought of it then, but he could be the very person who availed me into such personal fondness of another collecting hobby. I had pirate flags, posters, shirts, books, and even a light box that hung on the wall with Jack Sparrow on the front illuminating my room. I got a Jolly Roger tattoo as my first tattoo, at 17 to symbolize my insubordination to lawfulness. Parley! That part of me will never die, as it will never die out in Mr. Cunning here.

People's Magazine 2008 — People’s Magazine 2008

Believe it or not John Christopher Depp II, is pretty shy and likes to hide out more often than not. There is a quote people use often that he said, “I’m shy, paranoid, what ever word you want to use. I hate fame. I’ve done everything I can to avoid it.” This includes, at the beginning of his career in the 80’s, Johnny shaved his eyebrows to stay out of the limelight and give less attractive photo ops for teen crazed celebrity magazines. Nothing about Depp has ever gave anyone the thought that he might enjoy the stardom, he even is weirded out by the title given to him by People’s Magazine as “Most Sexiest Man Alive”. I believe it’s because he looks at what he does as a job and doesn’t have time for things like celebrity gossip. So he puts his nose to the ground and keeps on going.

His style sense ranges from dapper 40’s man to hobo-chic, not to be confused with boho-chic, this is the style in which his parents dressed him as a young child for Halloween, ” the only difference between now and then is that then they drew more beard on me than I can actually grow.” He can rock any hat, my personal favorite is his fedora, or dress in his favorite trinkets he collects. Like an armband that he had made to resemble the one he wore in 1986 Platoon. Depp is kind-of a superstitious man and will bring with him charms of good luck. Who can’t relate to wanting some good karma on your side?

I would say Johnny Depp has stacked his karma chips and can cash in anytime. He adores his fans just the same as they do him. It’s no wonder he is a timeless classic Hollywood heart-throb. He, not only gives credit where it is due, but still surprises us by kindly giving some of his precious time to fulfill some ultimate dreams of fans everywhere. You can get a glimpse of him in YouTube videos of the fans on the day they meet him, he has kind words to say and a warm smile on his face! Just can’t get any more surreal than that.

Family first is Depp’s new motto. He is there for his children and will continue to show exemplary father figure, role model behaviors to set example for the not-so-young, any longer, teens. It began with the birth of his daughter; it was a rebirth of Johnny. He had just gone through a rough past several years with the death of his buddy River Phoenix outside his co-owned club, Viper Room, and the roller coaster relationship with Kate Moss which broke off just a year before the birth of his new angel. He teetered on the edge of a road of broken and shattered dreams and his rising fame and fortune. With the presence of his children Depp feels at home, ” …that fog just lifted” as he puts it in an interview in 1999 after Lily-Rose’s birth. He describes it as a fog because of all the commotion going on before hand and all the unsure things about life you constantly are reminded of just hang before your eyes, then after a little you is born it all just makes sense.

He is humble beyond words! In any interview or any statement Johnny is always surprised at the impact he has made and is still making today. Don’t be so modest, it took a lot to get here and we all thank god you made it this far. His simple, yet resonating voice sticks with you as he speaks of down playing the lead acting role he is taking on, or how he never saw that low-budget film actually making it big. He doesn’t care if his movies make number one at the box office, he just does the roles he enjoys and gets a thrill out of living life to the fullest. His acting career is only one facet you see of him but underneath the glam attire is a being of great magnitude that will keep you begging for more.

Everyone is entitled to their fandom! No matter how young or old, there needs to be inspiration to life. with out it we are just walking zombies of the mundane. Provide your soul with something edgy and unknown and shake up the world you live in.

Humour Me: Comedy Styles

I would say I have a pretty good sense of humor. All though, being funny and finding others funny are very different things. This blog is the result of a thought, about just that. Types of comedy. At times, I avoid some kinds of people’s funny because I don’t understand it. But just because you don’t understand their jokes, does not mean you need to knock it. Try it first, then use your funny bone to throw one at them.

Sarcasm is not my second language. Mostly because I am naive and gullible, but living in the city has taught me one thing. Roll with the punches and you might even get to roll with the laughs. What honestly gets me about people who use sarcasm, is that they tend to go too far with it. Whether you’re the young pubescent trying to stereotype yourself into cool, or you’re the over zealous vaunter trying to schmooze yourself a date. It always comes off as being kinda rude… Don’t ya think? It is just not my cup of tea. But someone somewhere will love you for it, so keep trying.

Dry humor is more my kind of funny. Someone who won’t laugh at their own jokes or tells blan stories that still hook you because of delivery. Examples like Demetri Martin or Jillian Bell from workaholics; their character roles and stand up can give you such a pleasing source for entertainment and laughter. It’s how some great comedians have got where they are today.

Crude-ness is the new black. I think I might make a shirt that says that. Then sell it at every Dane Cook or Daniel Tosh comedy show. Or better yet a Lewis Black show! These guys nail it. I mean if you can get away with being a dick and saying what you want then more power to you… Just hope the money and fame last while the humor still sits right with the people. Soon they will catch on though… Come to the dark side we have chocolate covered bananas.

Then there is absurd randomness and asinine foolery that can make just about anything funny. Honestly, it could be the hasheesh speaking or the dumbing and numbing of our poor society, but who doesn’t enjoy a little mindless entertainment. It can go back to The Three Stooges, or be as cultured as South Park. Stupid is funny. When I get stupid with my boyfriend, that is some of the best times we have together. Where we can be completely unguarded and truly hilarious we get to connect on a whole different level. Try it sometime. Just let go any stupid quip that comes to your head and see who will play along.

There seems to be an awful lot of puns going around today and I sometimes feel like I don’t catch it. Like that hand gesture, where your hand flies over your head like an airplane going right over and you missed it. That’s me. So I kindly laugh and accept I can’t get punchlines all the time. I just read a tumblr puns article, and I got about 10 out of the 15. Maybe it’s because you have to know the reference to get it, but it just feels like a third wheel situation. So smile and wave boys, smile and wave.

Association’s and metaphors: this is my most played card but probably my weakest hand. All my friends tell me my metaphors are down right awful right next to the invention of the egg minder wink app; just read some of the comments on this gadget you will thank me for this! This comical aspect gives me the sense I’m still doing good and being funny while doing it. Not only that, but I also am receptive to it more because it pertains to me. That’s how you get people to like you, correlate with your audience. As for metaphors, maybe you should ask a professional because as I learned from my dad this past holiday, we can’t tell a metaphorical joke to save our hide. Got that from him too and my sick sense of humor.

New Tradition: Spring Break Edition

havasusunset — Picture of Lake Havasu sunset at Body Beach

No matter what side of the tracks you are from, your friends are your go to pack for most everything, essentially for your party needs. Your friends and you have a connection and when you rally together it’s like hitting a winning game homerun on 4th of July at Yankee Stadium. Beers and cheers. The glowing ambiance of everyones delightfullness just barges your rainy cloud, work-mode, attitude. And since I’m going back home this weekend, I’m going to start by saying let’s make ourselves a family tradition!

This is the maybe fourth time I have visited Lake Havasu, since I moved to Phoenix, exactly around this time and date, spring break. It’s like a tradition to me now. The warm air, the glistening water. It calls to me. No matter who you want to hang with when you arrive, they all suggest the beach. It is different when you come from the place people like to visit for holidays. You get to see the side of the city tourist miss out on because they are so indulged in the fiesta delights.This time of year brings back so many memories and I just want to keep the ” good times rollin”. Even now that we are far from our party selves, there is still a celebratory reason for the season.

It’s the way everyone embraces the weather. It’s no wonder Arizona has more sunshine than grey. We pressure the sun to start blazing early on in February. Trying to get that bit of tan, to hide your winter pale skin, before the springtime attire has to be broken out of the closet. We lay out and worship it; with our smoky barbecued scent rising up, the laughter and merriment we have when gathered or our backpacking adventures to the lake. Because let’s be honest, the weather only lasts like this for a short three months as well. Then comes the inferno chamber, death crawl until the monsoon season ends summer’s hot grieving. I’ll last the summer season because I’m conditioned to, and hence the reason for my visit to the beckoning shores of Lake Havasu City.

This visit is special to me, in that my little niece is turning 1 years old. She, you could say, is the beginning of this break back home idea. It started with her baby shower last year and now this years well planned first birthday, when I realized I have made it out to Havasu every year since I have moved away. We have begun a custom of pool lounging and barbecuing great eats that will pave our childrens future with lightheartedness and rejoicing. It was not to long ago, I would put down work and grab a cold one with the brilliant mother of the beautiful angel I call my niece, my best friend, Cheryl. Also, along with many other confidants, too many to name, who I also love wholeheartedly. We had the time of our lives in the midst of the spring break hullabaloo. Many tales we will forever hold in silence, because what happens in Havasu stays in Havasu. So, as we get older, I propose we keep these memories fresh and alive. Only now, we can grow our family with adding precious little ones and their sensational P.I.C (partner in crime). It’s getting to be one big happy family!

As my talented, full blooded Italian, stunningly beautiful true friend Witney said, “I wouldn’t mind a crowded house, it makes me happy!”. We like to congregate in the masses and even for the some of us that have moved from our original stomping grounds, we like to keep our close friends closer. When I crowd my heart with people like her, I can’t help but want to surround myself with their sweet embrace. It’s people like my friends that give a girl her strength. Being in their presence gives me an everlasting high. When I come back to the bustling city, I hold my head up higher because I remember who I am. Who I am, because of them and their tremendous support and everlasting love. Going back only a few times a year isn’t enough, but time stands still when I’m there. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to go home and think, “well, nothing has changed.”, it’s a good feeling to know the knowing. And it has changed, everyone gets older and wiser, they just still know how to have a good time just like yourself! We just change it up by reaching for the dice instead of drinking games, or take out the boats instead of being stranded hald-naked, on the beach hoping a hottie in an open bow pulls up asking if you want to take a ride. We have matured and so has our celebrating!

Don’t be afraid to make new traditions. It’s a holiday if you say it is. That’s probably why the British use the word holiday in place of vacation. It’s our right to enjoy ourselves. Live a little, let the hair down and roll around in the sand like we are young again. It doesn’t matter if you have kids or budget is a little tight. When you go return for a holiday, your friends have your back, at least my bitchin ones do! Go recharge your batteries and soak in some springtime cheerfulness!

Quick Guide to Natural Energy, or Chi

Energy; defined by wikipedia, is the property of objects, transferable among them via fundamental interactions, which can be converted into different forms, but not created or destroyed. It goes on to state that, wherever energy is present it has the same qualities no matter its form. In my day to day I work with energy. Not the type of energy that you can run your car off of or light your house up with. I am talking about the energy we all have inside of us. We take from the earth’s energy, and give back to it the very same kind, just now in a different form. If you have ever watched the movie Avatar then you might be able to grasp the kind of energy I’ll explain in my post. If you would like to feel first hand what I am going to describe, let us begin with finding your own energy. Give yourself a good 10 min to really get through the whole exercise. Start by resting comfortably, preferably somewhere quiet, as if you are going to meditate. In fact, that is very well what you are going to practice. A sort of meditation to really reach down and discover your own potential energy. Take some deep breaths. I want you to take your thumb and place it right in between your other hand’s thumb and forefinger. Do not press, just simply lay your hands across each other and feel with only your thumb. Try to let go all other thoughts that come to your mind. Focus on feeling.

How do you know what you are feeling? Is it energy or just a pulse? Energy can be felt many different ways. Some can feel heat, others vibrations, and can even be pulse like or wavy. No matter what you begin to feel, as soon as you pick up on something different than what you were feeling before (that pulsing), more than likely that is the energy being present. You know what a pulse feels like, right? It is the same feeling of your heart beating through your chest. The pulse beats right through the body. So now focus on any other sensation you can harness. I always notice my hands start to warm up, my pulse begins to fade away and I am left with the feeling of energy being transferred between my two hands.

What if you do not feel anything or it is almost undetectable? This is a case of insufficient flow of energy. Sometimes we build up energy in an area and that can cause energy to lack some where else. So in the instance of barley feeling anything, we would want to work on bringing the energy throughout you. It can be simple for some, but in the event that you are deficient, you may need some energy work done by a professional to really get the flow going. Otherwise, focus on relaxing all your muscles one by one letting go of any hold they may have on you. Let go of your tightness and feel the tension leaving your body. See if by simply depressurizing your upper body your energy is now shifting. It is your intention that will lead you to what you are looking for.

Energy, or in chinese medicine chi, can be pretty complicated if you do not have a clue what to look for. But it can also make the world of a difference when it is balanced within the body. I practice moving energy to help alleviate some of the toughest pain that people have to deal with on the daily. We do not create the energy and put it back into you. We simply take from the earth, its energy, and simply help push it through, creating a new healthy and balanced force. For more on chi and its understanding check out http://www.skepdic.com/chi.html, where they give a defintion that might make it more contextual for you. Also for more exercises on chi go to http://www.qienergyexercises.com/qi.htm for a more eastern practice of this. Leave any comments or questions and I will be happy to answer them to the best of my knowledge. Thanks!

Friends are the Family You Can Choose

As the saying goes “You can’t choose your family.” Thankfully, you can however choose your friends. With that instance comes some of the worst and best decisions you have made and will make. As we grow older we realize that it is better to have fewer friends that are near and dear, then having a ton of acquaintances you could quickly forget. I have moved so much in my life that it has been nearly impossible to keep life long friends. With technology and social media though, I will say that I have now been reconnected with friends I grew up with. But even then, they are not the type of friendships I am talking about.

The kind of friendships you will hold on to and cherish forever are the ones that come with honesty and integrity. The people you will keep around are those that have values that hold up to your own. They will respect you and the choices you make, but will also let you know when you could be headed down a dark path. Only will a true friend stand up and speak out in those tough times where you hit a fork in the road and do not see a near bright future. They can help you battle your demons. They are willing to sacrifice some of their own time and even funds to help get you out of even your stickiest situations.

It doesn’t matter the time or space between you, when you come together it is like nothing has changed. All you have is a bunch of talking and catching up to do. Even when you bring additions to the family, by getting in a serious relationship or bringing a new baby to the world, they are instant family as well. You get called Auntie or Uncle just for being an important person in their kids’ lives. The value of the relationship just grows over time.

They will encourage you more than your own family will. It is in their interest to keep you happy and living well because that directly affects them and their life as well. They realize this and make it a life together worth building. Just like a partner, you’re in a relationship with your best friends. Meaning you will have some hard times to go through together but on the other side your bond will only get stronger with each turning tide.

One of the hardest part of having friends is knowing when you need to let go. Not every person you form a bond with will stay glued to your hip like once was. There are people who you will grow apart from. Their values will differentiate from yours and you will no longer see the benefit of keeping them around. At times the friendship leaves you feeling hurt and mistreated, or like you don’t belong together. This could be the start to a failing friendship. Recognize when a friendship is hurting your own life and try to express these feelings before it becomes damaging. Take caution when choosing your forevers.

There are about a thousand different ways to say what a true friend is. All I can say for sure is, friendship is something you feel with your heart and believe in wholeheartedly. Together till the end and forever in my thoughts will all the precious souls, who made an impact in my life, stay. I dedicate this post to all the BFFs who make the world a more friendlier place.

Dating Tips for the Anxious

Finally settling down in my mid-twenties makes me look back and think on what I did that had life holding me on edge til now. As the baby announcements and wedding invitations roll in, a lot of us “late-bloomers” are left feeling, well, a little left behind. Why did we get started so late? How did we end up with the wrong one too many times? If I don’t find someone now, will there be any one left? Fear not my lovely dears, life is what you make it. This is all part of the same feelings you got when in Jr. High or High School. It’s called peer pressure. Only this time your in your twenties and your internal alarm clock is ringing every ten minutes because you keep hitting snooze. But here are my tips to ease into the long road ahead:

Time is on your side. There is no set plan or schedule you need to stick to for having the perfect family life. So get blessed early on and some get time to really search out all options. Don’t let others pressure you into believing you need babies and a partner to feel complete at this time in life. Also, someone once told me, “Look at it this way, you will have many babysitters to choose from when you eventually do have kids!”.
Don’t fear the online dating game. It’s not your best tool but it can help you improve. Some dates you know won’t go any where, so use that as a learning lesson. Other times you will find the most gracious of all dates but realize fancy just isn’t your forte. Either way find out what you like and start there.
Don’t treat every love affair as a one of a kind. Or at least keep that to yourself and believe it. Not every connection will be everlasting. Learn to know the difference. Lust, Love and everything in between will dance like magic in front of your eyes. To see through the smoke and mirrors you must know what you want and who you are. Until then just safeguard your heart.
Save your best cards for last. If you come into a game with all the best suits for the viewing… There won’t be much element of surprise for later. Keeps them coming back when you can hold back some and keep them guessing.It makes me think back to this book I read Why Men Love Bitches… which puts everything in nice to read graphs on how to know when to play the right cards.
Trust your instincts. You can read every self help book or Google every tip on how to date. But when you get down to dating if it doesn’t feel right don’t do it. Also, don’t take every person’s advice. Look how their love life is, are they #1 Casanova?
Find a mutual weirdness. We all know that some tendencies we acquired don’t necessarily yell, “Hottest trophy piece!”. Look for someone who will still love those things about you. (or at least put up with them) I believe there is someone for everyone. Just keep your heart open and your mind free of judgement.

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” – Dr. Suess

Also as a final note. Have some standards but do not raise them to high. Know your worth and have confidence in who you are. This will attract the one you will want to spend the rest of your life with. Opposingly, please do not push potential away with your high standards either. People are capable of great things and most the time we are just waiting for our other half to complete our whole self. If given a chance that crooked smiling, glasses-wearing, nerdy, lanky, nice guy could make one hell of a fairy tale ending for you.

90 Minute Versus an Hour Massage

Something you can always believe for sure is the more massage the better. Why is that? In the past 50+ years massage has had some pretty amazing breakthroughs. This of course has all been around for centuries, it just took the western world this long to make sure the science was proven in these methods. But when it comes to timing, massage could mean the best or not so best massage you have experienced.

Take it from the experts, you may not reach your peak relaxation in just a 60 minure massage. This can be even shorter in places that leave you with 10 minutes less because of undressing and such. We want to get the best for our time and money so let us raise the bar.

When do you feel the most relaxed into your massage? After five years of changing the world one body at a time, I would say give yourself at least 40 minutes to relax…that is merely getting sufficient amount of time for the back muscles to fully get what they need., Then you need a good solid 30-40 more minutes to get the most beneficial muscle releases you will ever receive. Not only that but you can also cover the entire body and almost every muscle in that amount of time.

Often I ask clients if they want an area of pain to be worked and focused on, in hour or less; if that’s all they can give me, because it won’t be as beneficial to try and make the whole body fit into that time. Especially if you have something specific that needs good work, which will take time. The not so good part of speeding through is activating a knot (trigger point) or muscle that needs to be worked out but only received a few minor strokes to ease it out. They can often feel achy still and tender to the touch. If there were just a few extra minutes to add to that area you could be left feeling 100% better.

Many of my healing methods are deep tissue and trigger point work. It can achieve great lengths in ways most people didn’t think they could ever reach again. Although, I feel as if there has been some mishaps in this area that leave people shying away from receiving that treatment. It is all in the way the therapist intends to release the muscle. To be efficient and to give you the absolute, most outstanding massage, it will take time. That also means paying for what you get. A more experienced therapist will know how to peel the layers of the tissue with lighter to medium pressures but also achieve the depth you’re asking for in a deep tissue massage. Just because we are accessing deeper muscles does not mean we need to use our heaviest elbow drops to get there.

Allow us the time to melt the fascia and remove tension from the closer surface muscles, achieving those amazing hurt-so-good feelings everyone I think should experience at least once in their lives. Giving the therapist time to get all that in would not only benefit you and your healing but also make the therapist work easier for the next time you decide to come in. Which will now happen often because if you receive anything like what I am talking about you have found yourself a new addiction. But nice thing for you it is a healthy lifestyle change that can pave the way for a better you in the future.

So when you go to get your next massage ask yourself before you go. What do I want most out of my session? How long would be just enough to relax the way I need? What areas are of most concern? Then let your massage therapist know so they can perform their best massage to your likings. Do yourself a favor. Pick a 90 minute massage if you want a full body relaxation deep tissue massage. You will thank yourself and your body will in return love you back!

Just for Today

Just for today I will live in today. I will not try and take on all my problems at once and see today for its real worth.

Just for today I will not allow the negatives of the world around me affect my being. There is good all around, open your eyes and believe.

Just for today I will give thanks. Thanks for just being alive. Thanks to those who make this world a better place to live.

Just for today I will let be what is. There is things you can not change and things that will just happen. Take notice and be kind to what comes.

Just for today I will love myself truly. I will not self sabotage. When I look into a mirror I will see beauty in all different ways.

Just for today I will help others find happiness in the day. You can change someones day around just with a simple smile or hug.

What will you do today to become a stronger, better you?

Never put all your eggs into one basket…

Don’t be the one to do everything in the relationship.

Don’t try to fix an issue that is going on by replacing it with a happier issues.

Have enough pride in yourself to know who you deserve.

Know what you want before you go out looking.

It is ok to have a friends with benefits, as long that is as far as it goes.

Do not sleep with some one out of vengeance.

Sympathy sex should be left to, well no one.

If it didn’t work the first time, it more than likely will not work the next round.

Try not to let love blind you.

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