10 Dating Lessons Learned by Marnie from HBO’s Girls

Allison Williams, actress Marnie from girls
Allison Williams, actress Marnie from Girls

These are the do’s and don’ts of relationships that we all can learn from Marnie. She is a strong character and you can tell she suppresses a lot. Only if she would stop focusing on everyone else’s problems and fixated on her own.

Never put all your eggs into one basket…

In the first season we see how much she has invested in to her boyfriend. Just to find out that with one small mistake he would throw it away and find someone new just a few short weeks later.

Don’t be the one to do everything in the relationship.

I read a great article that suggested when being in a relationship, its 100/100 not 50/50… most days its 60/40 or even 80/20… but it is where you invest your efforts and when that matter. Space out your good deeds so they are less expected.

Don’t try to fix an issue that is going on by replacing it with a happier issues.

AKA, switching topics. How often does she get mad and start to voice her opinion to just get interrupted with some ones else’s better news. Oh you know like being in a huge fight over money issues and then accept a marriage proposal. Just 2 sentences into her argument about NOT wanting a failing relationship like her parents. Way to go!

Have enough pride in yourself to know who you deserve.

I could not tell you why in the world Marnie would choose to be “the other women” in a relationship. She has soooo much to offer, yet she threw it at a man who was already taken. This makes my heart sad for every girl who gets themselves into this kind of ordeal. If you want to be the only one then make sure there is no other one.

Know what you want before you go out looking.

I use this in my day-to-day, as simple as shopping and as complex as future plan/goal making. You get this sense from Marnie that she is still just floating along with everything, not ever really knowing what she wants. She didn’t want to be smothered by a serious boyfriend then gets with someone who is distant but requires him to show her more attention. Get it together, you are either on the bus or off!

It is ok to have a friends with benefits, as long that is as far as it goes.

One of the most fun times I had in my life was being single but having a friends with benefits to keep me satisfied. It helped to keep my eye on what else is important in life, besides being in relationships all the time. Just do not let the feelings catch up with you in the situation.

Do not sleep with some one out of vengeance.

You see red and you want nothing more than to hurt that ex, but it safer to play it cool and not hurt your own self in the midst of it all. You never know what your random hook up can be into. Like Marnie’s crazy fling with Booth, the artist. It ends with her in a very compromising situation. Just watch season 2.

Sympathy sex should be left to, well no one.

Why would she sleep with her gay friend? To see if she could turn him back? I doubt it. Or the best man from Jessa’s wedding, he is in no way her type. Instead you can really confuse someone or damage feelings. Don’t sleep with someone out of pity. It just is not classy.

If it didn’t work the first time, it more than likely will not work the next round.

Marnie decided to hop on the Charlie train again but was left in the begging of season 3 with no boyfriend, AGAIN. See, there is this thing I belive in where if two people are good at being around each other but can not make it as a couple; well, leave it at friends. Do not try to date again just because you see that special something in them again. They haven’t changed and neither have you. Let it be and find the next greatest thing.Girls-Season-2-Episode-6-Video-Preview-Boys

Try not to let love blind you.

It is a true saying that love is blinding but infatuation can be even more so. I feel like now, at the end of season 4, Marnie is going to have a tough decision to make in the nearing future. Between her “friends with benefits” Ray and Desi her newly engaged infatuation. You can see it in Ray’s eyes when he gives his speech how he longs for her again, and it is almost prevalent that Marnie in return desires that respect and caring that he offers. But here she is with bright lights and hottie fiance showing off to the world that she is going to be a big time singer/ musician duo with her man. It is all just blurring the future even more for her.

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Don’t we all.

With any advice given on relationships, always listen to your heart and head first. No one can tell you how to feel or what to do. Only you have that power. Just try to learn from someone elses mistakes so you don’t have to crash and burn just as hard. Take it from Marnie, a life in and out of relationships gets you caught up in some intense things. So hold on and try to enjoy the ride!

Dating Tips for the Anxious

how-to-build-a-lasting-relationshipFinally settling down in my mid-twenties makes me look back and think on what I did that had life holding me on edge til now. As the baby announcements and wedding invitations roll in, a lot of us “late-bloomers” are left feeling, well, a little left behind. Why did we get started so late? How did we end up with the wrong one too many times? If I don’t find someone now, will there be any one left? Fear not my lovely dears, life is what you make it. This is all part of the same feelings you got when in Jr. High or High School. It’s called peer pressure. Only this time your in your twenties and your internal alarm clock is ringing every ten minutes because you keep hitting snooze. But here are my tips to ease into the long road ahead:

  1. Time is on your side. There is no set plan or schedule you need to stick to for having the perfect family life. So get blessed early on and some get time to really search out all options. Don’t let others pressure you into believing you need babies and a partner to feel complete at this time in life. Also, someone once told me, “Look at it this way, you will have many babysitters to choose from when you eventually do have kids!”.
  2. Don’t fear the online dating game. It’s not your best tool but it can help you improve. Some dates you know won’t go any where, so use that as a learning lesson. Other times you will find the most gracious of all dates but realize fancy just isn’t your forte. Either way find out what you like and start there.
  3. Don’t treat every love affair as a one of a kind. Or at least keep that to yourself and believe it. Not every connection will be everlasting. Learn to know the difference. Lust, Love and everything in between will dance like magic in front of your eyes. To see through the smoke and mirrors you must know what you want and who you are. Until then just safeguard your heart.
  4. Save your best cards for last. If you come into a game with all the best suits for the viewing… There won’t be much element of surprise for later. Keeps them coming back when you can hold back some and keep them guessing.It makes me think back to this book I read Why Men Love Bitches… which puts everything in nice to read graphs on how to know when to play the right cards.
  5. Trust your instincts. You can read every self help book or Google every tip on how to date. But when you get down to dating if it doesn’t feel right don’t do it. Also, don’t take every person’s advice. Look how their love life is, are they #1 Casanova?
  6. Find a mutual weirdness. We all know that some tendencies we acquired don’t necessarily yell, “Hottest trophy piece!”. Look for someone who will still love those things about you. (or at least put up with them) I believe there is someone for everyone. Just keep your heart open and your mind free of judgement.

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” – Dr. Suess

Also as a final note. Have some standards but do not raise them to high. Know your worth and have confidence in who you are. This will attract the one you will want to spend the rest of your life with. Opposingly, please do not push potential away with your high standards either. People are capable of great things and most the time we are just waiting for our other half to complete our whole self. If given a chance that crooked smiling, glasses-wearing, nerdy, lanky, nice guy could make one hell of a fairy tale ending for you.