Finally settling down in my mid-twenties makes me look back and think on what I did that had life holding me on edge til now. As the baby announcements and wedding invitations roll in, a lot of us “late-bloomers” are left feeling, well, a little left behind. Why did we get started so late? How did we end up with the wrong one too many times? If I don’t find someone now, will there be any one left? Fear not my lovely dears, life is what you make it. This is all part of the same feelings you got when in Jr. High or High School. It’s called peer pressure. Only this time your in your twenties and your internal alarm clock is ringing every ten minutes because you keep hitting snooze. But here are my tips to ease into the long road ahead:
- Time is on your side. There is no set plan or schedule you need to stick to for having the perfect family life. So get blessed early on and some get time to really search out all options. Don’t let others pressure you into believing you need babies and a partner to feel complete at this time in life. Also, someone once told me, “Look at it this way, you will have many babysitters to choose from when you eventually do have kids!”.
- Don’t fear the online dating game. It’s not your best tool but it can help you improve. Some dates you know won’t go any where, so use that as a learning lesson. Other times you will find the most gracious of all dates but realize fancy just isn’t your forte. Either way find out what you like and start there.
- Don’t treat every love affair as a one of a kind. Or at least keep that to yourself and believe it. Not every connection will be everlasting. Learn to know the difference. Lust, Love and everything in between will dance like magic in front of your eyes. To see through the smoke and mirrors you must know what you want and who you are. Until then just safeguard your heart.
- Save your best cards for last. If you come into a game with all the best suits for the viewing… There won’t be much element of surprise for later. Keeps them coming back when you can hold back some and keep them guessing.It makes me think back to this book I read Why Men Love Bitches… which puts everything in nice to read graphs on how to know when to play the right cards.
- Trust your instincts. You can read every self help book or Google every tip on how to date. But when you get down to dating if it doesn’t feel right don’t do it. Also, don’t take every person’s advice. Look how their love life is, are they #1 Casanova?
- Find a mutual weirdness. We all know that some tendencies we acquired don’t necessarily yell, “Hottest trophy piece!”. Look for someone who will still love those things about you. (or at least put up with them) I believe there is someone for everyone. Just keep your heart open and your mind free of judgement.
“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” – Dr. Suess
Also as a final note. Have some standards but do not raise them to high. Know your worth and have confidence in who you are. This will attract the one you will want to spend the rest of your life with. Opposingly, please do not push potential away with your high standards either. People are capable of great things and most the time we are just waiting for our other half to complete our whole self. If given a chance that crooked smiling, glasses-wearing, nerdy, lanky, nice guy could make one hell of a fairy tale ending for you.