Dating Tips for the Anxious

how-to-build-a-lasting-relationshipFinally settling down in my mid-twenties makes me look back and think on what I did that had life holding me on edge til now. As the baby announcements and wedding invitations roll in, a lot of us “late-bloomers” are left feeling, well, a little left behind. Why did we get started so late? How did we end up with the wrong one too many times? If I don’t find someone now, will there be any one left? Fear not my lovely dears, life is what you make it. This is all part of the same feelings you got when in Jr. High or High School. It’s called peer pressure. Only this time your in your twenties and your internal alarm clock is ringing every ten minutes because you keep hitting snooze. But here are my tips to ease into the long road ahead:

  1. Time is on your side. There is no set plan or schedule you need to stick to for having the perfect family life. So get blessed early on and some get time to really search out all options. Don’t let others pressure you into believing you need babies and a partner to feel complete at this time in life. Also, someone once told me, “Look at it this way, you will have many babysitters to choose from when you eventually do have kids!”.
  2. Don’t fear the online dating game. It’s not your best tool but it can help you improve. Some dates you know won’t go any where, so use that as a learning lesson. Other times you will find the most gracious of all dates but realize fancy just isn’t your forte. Either way find out what you like and start there.
  3. Don’t treat every love affair as a one of a kind. Or at least keep that to yourself and believe it. Not every connection will be everlasting. Learn to know the difference. Lust, Love and everything in between will dance like magic in front of your eyes. To see through the smoke and mirrors you must know what you want and who you are. Until then just safeguard your heart.
  4. Save your best cards for last. If you come into a game with all the best suits for the viewing… There won’t be much element of surprise for later. Keeps them coming back when you can hold back some and keep them guessing.It makes me think back to this book I read Why Men Love Bitches… which puts everything in nice to read graphs on how to know when to play the right cards.
  5. Trust your instincts. You can read every self help book or Google every tip on how to date. But when you get down to dating if it doesn’t feel right don’t do it. Also, don’t take every person’s advice. Look how their love life is, are they #1 Casanova?
  6. Find a mutual weirdness. We all know that some tendencies we acquired don’t necessarily yell, “Hottest trophy piece!”. Look for someone who will still love those things about you. (or at least put up with them) I believe there is someone for everyone. Just keep your heart open and your mind free of judgement.

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” – Dr. Suess

Also as a final note. Have some standards but do not raise them to high. Know your worth and have confidence in who you are. This will attract the one you will want to spend the rest of your life with. Opposingly, please do not push potential away with your high standards either. People are capable of great things and most the time we are just waiting for our other half to complete our whole self. If given a chance that crooked smiling, glasses-wearing, nerdy, lanky, nice guy could make one hell of a fairy tale ending for you.

When You Know You’re with the Right Person


Finding the right one is never easy. But when you do you definitely know. I have found a few things that make my relationship feel like a dream come true.
They will adopt your family and pets as their own. Nothing says “I will be with you long-term” as much as  seeing your siblings bonding with your significant other. Or watching your dog and lover take a sweet snuggle nap on the couch. You can keep them if they know how to make the family dream work!
They will put down the technology to just be with you. We get so caught up in our technology that time to time it feels like it becomes our greatest activity. In our home we adopted a No Tech Tuesday; when we are home together we put the technology away and do activities outside of electronics. Whether it be video games, t.v., or the phone; if your babe can put it away for the day I say it’s real.
You pretty much have the same eating habits. Not every relationship works this way, but I would say it is ten times easier cooking for someone who eats they way I do. You don’t have to go out of your way to make a specially designed meal. And if you do get separate  groceries perhaps you have that much more love to go into the pot.
Even things that perturbed you in past relationships won’t even phase you with this one. This could be anything from bad habits to not so endearing looks… You love every ounce of that being.
Alone time spent together = the best time spent. There is something about doing the hobbies you love to do and still having the comfort of company around you. You are both involved in your own activity yet still being consciously paired up in a way.
The weirdest traits of yours are their traits too. Stopping to pick up rocks that interest me might seem odd to few but to me it’s my favorite pastime.  My companion happens to hunt for rocks like a miner which makes this geologist nerd happy!
The fights are never long and are few and far between. I have been told it is healthy to fight. This is not my style. I talk things out, walk away and then convene for closing argument statements at the end. Finding someone with the same style of dealing with frustration helps the relationship stay steady. Also, never go to bed angry. No matter how many times you hear it, it is sooooo true!
The support never runs dry. You build each other up. You become  each other’s muse. It feels so right. Every dream, every goal and every idea is shared and nurtured with the same t.l.c. that brought you two close. Team work makes the dream work!
So go be a team player and tell your special somebody you are lucky to have them till the end of time. If they are the right one.

6 Reasons I Should Have Been Born a Mermaid


Sebastian had it right. Life IS much better under the sea.wannabeamermaid

These are 6 facts of my life that make me wish I was just a Mermaid already.

6. Clothing optional? More like; clothing? Nope, don’t need it. How often I spend time, energy, money… woman hours, of acquiring attire? Well, I probably took off a good 20 years of my life already, wasting it away on the real struggle! On the other hand Mermaids probably live forever, their worries are equivalent to the slim-to-none amount of clothing needed. This of coarse, is some sexy shells or I could always go shell-less. Seems to be the trend around the reef these days. By the way, I do love seashells!  You should see some of my collections. Supporting fact #1.

5. Which brings me to my next point. Even though I do love laundry ( I know who actually likes that chore, call it OCD if you may) but how much time did I just save not folding, washing, drying, choosing outfits by now swimming in a body of water not wearing anything! (On a side note from that, I seriously have a girl friend who washes every 2 piece bathing suit separate to make sure no colors bleed onto each other or get tangled. She owns over 50 suits! Talk about a tough laundry day!)

Love this depiction!
Love this depiction!

If only I were a mermaid: “What color seashells should I wear tomorrow?
Probably go with the dark blue ones perhaps to match my hair.”

Example of laundry day: “Sorry,  Time to do my every 2 month barnacle shucking. I’ll get my scales shined with you next week though Tiger Lily!”

4. I need to hydrate myself; as I put in terms, like being a camel going on a long journey through the Sahara. If I lived in water. Problem solved. When I’m in water I feel rejuvenated!  My lips plump. My skin feels soft. I would be like the suave mermaid, in the lagoon, with my silky smooth softness, doing what mermaids do

3. Nothing makes me realize how much I love water then residing in the desert. Living in Arizona makes me feel like a fish out of water… I need ocean. Pacific coast, Atlantic waters. What ever it maybe. Just put me near it. Rather be born in it. If I had fins and could breath under water, then you best believe I would just travel around. Sea to shining sea, I’d be the Amelia Earhart of the open waters.

2. Every time I’m in water like a lake, ocean, river, or hell even a bath. I feel… Well simply put… Better! No tears, no pain, no sweat.  Just pure simple enlightenment. Tough to have worries when your floating weightless and free! Ya, another great thing there, weightlessness. I mean I don’t have to carry around my large coconuts anymore, they now just float around with me! Back pain gone. Totally worth what ever soul selling I have to do for this transformation.

1. I have been aquatic my whole life. I was raised around water. Don’t mean to brag, but I can swim! Forever. Or float. I would probably just float along the ocean floor. Stare up at the sea life. In my new “sky”. Reminds me of a dream I always have. Probably a premonition of my reincarnation of my mermaid self.Oceanfloor