Tag: love

Dating Tips for the Anxious

how-to-build-a-lasting-relationshipFinally settling down in my mid-twenties makes me look back and think on what I did that had life holding me on edge til now. As the baby announcements and wedding invitations roll in, a lot of us “late-bloomers” are left feeling, well, a little left behind. Why did we get started so late? How did we end up with the wrong one too many times? If I don’t find someone now, will there be any one left? Fear not my lovely dears, life is what you make it. This is all part of the same feelings you got when in Jr. High or High School. It’s called peer pressure. Only this time your in your twenties and your internal alarm clock is ringing every ten minutes because you keep hitting snooze. But here are my tips to ease into the long road ahead:

  1. Time is on your side. There is no set plan or schedule you need to stick to for having the perfect family life. So get blessed early on and some get time to really search out all options. Don’t let others pressure you into believing you need babies and a partner to feel complete at this time in life. Also, someone once told me, “Look at it this way, you will have many babysitters to choose from when you eventually do have kids!”.
  2. Don’t fear the online dating game. It’s not your best tool but it can help you improve. Some dates you know won’t go any where, so use that as a learning lesson. Other times you will find the most gracious of all dates but realize fancy just isn’t your forte. Either way find out what you like and start there.
  3. Don’t treat every love affair as a one of a kind. Or at least keep that to yourself and believe it. Not every connection will be everlasting. Learn to know the difference. Lust, Love and everything in between will dance like magic in front of your eyes. To see through the smoke and mirrors you must know what you want and who you are. Until then just safeguard your heart.
  4. Save your best cards for last. If you come into a game with all the best suits for the viewing… There won’t be much element of surprise for later. Keeps them coming back when you can hold back some and keep them guessing.It makes me think back to this book I read Why Men Love Bitches… which puts everything in nice to read graphs on how to know when to play the right cards.
  5. Trust your instincts. You can read every self help book or Google every tip on how to date. But when you get down to dating if it doesn’t feel right don’t do it. Also, don’t take every person’s advice. Look how their love life is, are they #1 Casanova?
  6. Find a mutual weirdness. We all know that some tendencies we acquired don’t necessarily yell, “Hottest trophy piece!”. Look for someone who will still love those things about you. (or at least put up with them) I believe there is someone for everyone. Just keep your heart open and your mind free of judgement.

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” – Dr. Suess

Also as a final note. Have some standards but do not raise them to high. Know your worth and have confidence in who you are. This will attract the one you will want to spend the rest of your life with. Opposingly, please do not push potential away with your high standards either. People are capable of great things and most the time we are just waiting for our other half to complete our whole self. If given a chance that crooked smiling, glasses-wearing, nerdy, lanky, nice guy could make one hell of a fairy tale ending for you.

90 Minute Versus an Hour Massage

registered-massage-therapy-1059x445Something you can always believe for sure is the more massage the better. Why is that? In the past 50+ years massage has had some pretty amazing breakthroughs. This of course has all been around for centuries, it just took the western world this long to make sure the science was proven in these methods. But when it comes to timing, massage could mean the best or not so best massage you have experienced.

Take it from the experts, you may not reach your peak relaxation in just a 60 minure massage. This can be even shorter in places that leave you with 10 minutes less because of undressing and such. We want to get the best for our time and money so let us raise the bar.

When do you feel the most relaxed into your massage? After five years of changing the world one body at a time, I would say give yourself at least 40 minutes to relax…that is merely getting sufficient amount of time for the back muscles to fully get what they need., Then you need a good solid 30-40  more minutes to get the most beneficial muscle releases you will ever receive. Not only that but you can also cover the entire body and almost every muscle in that amount of time.

Often I ask clients if they want an area of pain to be worked and focused on, in hour or less; if that’s all they can give me, because it won’t be as beneficial to try and make the whole body fit into that time. Especially if you have something specific that needs good work, which will take time. The not so good part of speeding through is activating a knot (trigger point) or muscle that needs to be worked out but only received a few minor strokes to ease it out. They can often feel achy still and tender to the touch. If there were just a few extra minutes to add to that area you could be left feeling 100% better.

Many of my healing methods are deep tissue and trigger point work. It can achieve great lengths in ways most people didn’t think they could ever reach again. Although, I feel as if there has been some mishaps in this area that leave people shying away from receiving that treatment. It is all in the way the therapist intends to release the muscle. To be efficient and to give you the absolute, most outstanding massage, it will take time. That also means paying for what you get. A more experienced therapist will know how to peel the layers of the tissue with lighter to medium pressures but also achieve the depth you’re asking for in a deep tissue massage. Just because we are accessing deeper muscles does not mean we need to use our heaviest elbow drops to get there.

benefits-of-massageAllow us the time to melt the fascia and remove tension from the closer surface muscles,  achieving those amazing hurt-so-good feelings everyone I think should experience at least once in their lives. Giving the therapist time to get all that in would not only benefit you and your healing but also make the therapist work easier for the next time you decide to come in. Which will now happen often because if you receive anything like what I am talking about you have found yourself a new addiction. But nice thing for you it is a healthy lifestyle change that can pave the way for a better you in the future.

So when you go to get your next massage ask yourself before you go. What do I want most out of my session? How long would be just enough to relax the way I need? What areas are of most concern? Then let your massage therapist know so they can perform their best massage to your likings. Do yourself a favor. Pick a 90 minute massage if you want a full body relaxation deep tissue massage. You will thank yourself and your body will in return love you back!

Just for Today

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Just for today I will live in today. I will not try and take on all my problems at once and see today for its real worth.

Just for today I will not allow the negatives of the world around me affect my being. There is good all around, open your eyes and believe.photo-02

Just for today I will give thanks. Thanks for just being alive. Thanks to those who make this world a better place to live.

Just for today I will let be what is. There is things you can not change and things that will just happen. Take notice and be kind to what comes.

Just for today I will love myself truly. I will not self sabotage. When I look into a mirror I will see beauty in all different ways.

Just for today I will help others find happiness in the day. You can change someones day around just with a simple smile or hug.

What will you do today to become a stronger, better you?

When You Know You’re with the Right Person

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Finding the right one is never easy. But when you do you definitely know. I have found a few things that make my relationship feel like a dream come true.
They will adopt your family and pets as their own. Nothing says “I will be with you long-term” as much as  seeing your siblings bonding with your significant other. Or watching your dog and lover take a sweet snuggle nap on the couch. You can keep them if they know how to make the family dream work!
They will put down the technology to just be with you. We get so caught up in our technology that time to time it feels like it becomes our greatest activity. In our home we adopted a No Tech Tuesday; when we are home together we put the technology away and do activities outside of electronics. Whether it be video games, t.v., or the phone; if your babe can put it away for the day I say it’s real.
You pretty much have the same eating habits. Not every relationship works this way, but I would say it is ten times easier cooking for someone who eats they way I do. You don’t have to go out of your way to make a specially designed meal. And if you do get separate  groceries perhaps you have that much more love to go into the pot.
Even things that perturbed you in past relationships won’t even phase you with this one. This could be anything from bad habits to not so endearing looks… You love every ounce of that being.
Alone time spent together = the best time spent. There is something about doing the hobbies you love to do and still having the comfort of company around you. You are both involved in your own activity yet still being consciously paired up in a way.
The weirdest traits of yours are their traits too. Stopping to pick up rocks that interest me might seem odd to few but to me it’s my favorite pastime.  My companion happens to hunt for rocks like a miner which makes this geologist nerd happy!
The fights are never long and are few and far between. I have been told it is healthy to fight. This is not my style. I talk things out, walk away and then convene for closing argument statements at the end. Finding someone with the same style of dealing with frustration helps the relationship stay steady. Also, never go to bed angry. No matter how many times you hear it, it is sooooo true!
The support never runs dry. You build each other up. You become  each other’s muse. It feels so right. Every dream, every goal and every idea is shared and nurtured with the same t.l.c. that brought you two close. Team work makes the dream work!
So go be a team player and tell your special somebody you are lucky to have them till the end of time. If they are the right one.